The Answer

Then what is the answer?- Not to be deluded by dreams.
To know that great civilizations have broken down into violence,
and their tyrants come, many times before.
When open violence appears, to avoid it with honor or choose
the least ugly faction; these evils are essential.
To keep one's own integrity, be merciful and uncorrupted and
not wish for evil; and not be duped
By dreams of universal justice or happiness. These dreams will
not be fulfilled.
To know this, and know that however ugly the parts appear the
whole remains beautiful. A severed hand
Is an ugly thing and man dissevered from the earth and stars
and his history... for contemplation or in fact...
Often appears atrociously ugly. Integrity is wholeness,
the greatest beauty is
Organic wholeness, the wholeness of life and things, the divine
beauty of the universe. Love that, not man
Apart from that, or else you will share man's pitiful confusions,
or drown in despair when his days darken.

-Robinson Jeffers


Junior year of high school I was unassumingly recommended Robinson Jeffers for a poetry project in English. As per the requirements, I did literary analyses on a few poems, as well as a few poetic imitations; including one for this beauty here: The Answer. I was proud of what I came up with; but not brave enough to display it here.

I can't tell you why I chose that particular piece to ape. I probably didn't quite grasp its significance at the time, being a simple-minded teenager. But somehow it felt the most powerful or truthful, even if its meanings were quite beyond me.

But just last week I rediscovered the work of Jeffers. I devoured his dense collection of poems in a matter of days. While some were vaguely familiar, they each took on greater depth and meaning for me. I felt like I understood them now. His words were alive with truth. They just fit so perfectly. And when I turned my attention to The Answer for the first time in probably three years, I discovered a near flawless reflection of the life philosophy that I have come to hold. I was pretty floored.

It is strange to think that perhaps my spiritual and intellectual trajectory was determined all the way back in those adolescent days. Who would have guessed.

Not me.